Republican Music Police
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Appetite for Destruction is my favorite album ever
by Chris Wong
Until recently, it was always "24 Hour Revenge Therapy." But somewhere along the lines, G'n'fuckin'R's masterpiece knocked Blake and company off their lofty throne. That's right. Appetite For Destruction is my favorite album ever.
Don't get me wrong. I have misgivings about this. I know about a million reasons why I shouldn't put Appetite at the top of my distinctive list. I could ennumerate them here, but it would be tedious. Some things should be immediately obvious: no real ballads, awful album art (that matchbook girl raped by an alien?), shit, even how many fucking records it sold. Hell, I'm no elitist, but how can an album that went umptuple platinum in, all things considered, the worst musical decade of all time be the best album ever?
And yet, none of this chitter chatter, chitter chatter means a goddamned thing once the band starts to play. Because, like Mick Jagger said, "does it matter? I'm a-shattered." And since Guns 'N' Roses are the most obvious and perfect descendents of the Stones, Mick's words seem especially appropriate.
That's something I took a lot of crap for once, but people are coming around: G'n'R is the reincarnation of the Rolling Stones. There I said it. Until they blew themselves up in a shitstorm of infeuding and self-indulgence, G'n'R achieved rock and roll perfection, something even Mick and Keith and co. never could manage. How do they match the Stones? Let me count the ways
1. Axl's superior voice. Although his Sweet Child snake moves can't quite match Jagger's "Start Me Up" antics, Axl was every bit the front man Mick was. Listen to "It's So Easy," when Axl tells his critics "You can go........................FUCK OFF" and you can't help but think of Jagger spitting "Satisfaction" out through pursed sofa lips.
2. Slash+Izzy=Keith+(Ron or Brian or Mick Taylor). With all due respect to Keith and co. I'll take Slash over all of them. But it's a tricky question. What's a little more cut and dry is how expertly Slash and Izzy work their guitar parts together, trading licks on songs like Nightrain or Think About You
3. Riff based rock. I believe it was John Cale of the VU who commented on the Stones: "there were some of their songs that all they were was one riff over and over." Songs like "The Last Time" and "Satisfaction" are prime examples. But what are G'n'f'n'R songs if not riff-heavy? "Mr. Brownstone" has that impossible chromatic boogie. "Sweet Child," as much as Slash hates it, is instantly recognizable by its "Venus deMilo"-esque arpeggios. Sheryl Crow's chord heavy version hardly even sounds like the same song.
But whatever. I guess it doesn't even matter how close they came to besting the Stones. I mean, world's greatest rock band or not, G'n'R's approximation to another band is not the issue. The point is, what IS here is magnificent for all the same reasons the Rolling Stones are magnificent. And Jagger and Keif never writed a record like Appetite.
By now the singles have become public domain. How can you go to a hockey game at any level without hearing that delay-pedaled B-note welcoming you to the jungle? Paradise City was that coming of age song for the nerd in "Can't Hardly Wait" and if you've never sang it at karaoke you ain't no friend of mine. And the Sweet Child video is basically the lasting image we have of the '80's: Izzy and Slash with cigarettes hanging off their lips, guitars pointed heavenward, that greasy tophat hair...and Axl snaking around, making love to his mic stand.
The thing is, there's nothing to say about these singles that hasn't been said before. Yeah, "Welcome to the Jungle" with all its double stops, that breakdown, that almighty "Feel my...my my my my my serpentine" line invites all kinds of music nerd commentary (the decade of greed typified, the ultimate LA song, the ultimate heavy metal song, Axl speaking for a generation, Axl tortured by blah blah blah blah blah). What really makes this album is its deep cuts.
Let's be realistic: there are two ways to evaluate an album. It's either "does it have a lot of good songs," or, "does it function as a cohesive, thematic unit." It's a tricky issue with no definitive answer. The best albums, however, make this quibbling academic: they not only contain all the best songs but they work as an entity. That's why "24 Hour..." held my top spot for so long. That's why my other top five records (Through Being Cool, After the Goldrush, and OK Computer) are so goddamn fucking good.
It's not necessarily so clear that Appetite For Destruction fits these descriptions. But it should be. Many people don't realize how solid top to bottom this album is. It's hard to explain the dynamic of an album that traverses every nuance of hard rock without so much as sniffing a power ballad. It seems pointless to go through track by track, but many songs bear mentioning.
"Nightrain" for instance, with its clang-clang intro and Chuck Berry guitar work stampedes the slowdown from "It's So Easy." It's hard to pin Axl down on this album - he's as confused about himself as we are about when the new G'nR album's coming out. But "Nightrain" doesn't make apologies or look for answers - it just catches him "Loaded like a freight train..." Axl keeps making these impossible claims of ostentation - rattlesnake suitcase, drinking his gasoline. This song's all fucking strut, nothing more nothing less. I read a piece on this song from AMG where they admit that when Axl says, "I smoke my cigarette with style," they believe him. Well duh. What's more definitive for me is when he gnarls at his sweetheart:
"Wake up late, yeah honey put on your clothes
and take my credit card to the liquor store
well that's one for you...and two for me"
There's Axl, double hard and reckless, and the band's matching him shot for shot. Not enough's been said about Steven Adler's drumming, and I don't suppose I can really do it much justice on the page, but man he stomps through some wicked cowbell. Fuck Christopher Walken, fuck Will Ferrell, fuck that whole sketch because man cowbell is the real deal Holyfield. Or at least Steve makes it feel that way.
The thing to remember about Appetite is that its cohesion comes in an unexpected way. This is an album about making this album, honestly. I mean that in as far from its postmodern implications as possible. But this is an album about being a rock band in LA living the life that will eventually make its way onto this album. "It's so easy," Axl claims, "when everybody's tryin' to please me." Yeah, yeah - it's true. It is pretty easy. But Axl's not so sure...because inevitably what this album's about is the contradictions of the fast life. He can half feel it catching up to him. He can feel the pratfalls. "Out to Get Me," while one of the worst tracks on the album, still fits perfectly - paranoia - fame is a double-edged sword.
And with all the groupies we see...with all the child prostitutes (My Michelle), pretty girls (Paradise City, Sweet Child), sexy parties (Nightrain, Anything Goes) there's still the regrets of lost love, none more apparent than on the album's best track, "Rocket Queen." Here, more than anywhere we see the effects of fame on Axl's ultimate happiness
"If I say I don't need anyone I can say these things to you
Because I can turn on anyone just like I turned on you."
Who is this woman Axl's talking to? Is it a lover from the past, a groupie with some staying power, a supermodel, who? Does it matter. He's grappling with the immediate gratification fame accords him. IF he says he doesn't need anyone...but it isn't so easy to say for Axl. Yes, he could have any woman he wants, but maybe not the one he wants...and as the song goes on, it appears that the reason he can't have her is BECAUSE he can have any woman he wants. Let's see:
As the song shifts from its full-frontal bravado to an instrumental slide-guitar interlude the mood changes and finally, when the song settles into its coda, a 50's style doo-wop number, we glide into the root of the trouble. Instead of boasting of his prowess...Axl elegizes his relationship
"No one sees the sorrow
No one sees the pain
I hate to see you
walking out there...out in the rain
so don't chastise you
don't think i, i mean you harm...."
This is not easy. No not at all...and finally, finally, the last four lines of the album. This is what Appetite is all about. This is why this is the best album of all time. This is why Axl Rose's bald ass can go on prolonging his album forever and never never never should be called on it. This is why Slash can be forgiven for getting fat and lazy. This is why Guns 'N' Roses will always be the greatest metal band of all time. This is why music is made:
"Don't ever leave me
Say you'll always be there.
All I ever wanted
was for you to know that I care."
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what rock and roll is all about.
having a little patience,
Chris Wong
Until recently, it was always "24 Hour Revenge Therapy." But somewhere along the lines, G'n'fuckin'R's masterpiece knocked Blake and company off their lofty throne. That's right. Appetite For Destruction is my favorite album ever.
Don't get me wrong. I have misgivings about this. I know about a million reasons why I shouldn't put Appetite at the top of my distinctive list. I could ennumerate them here, but it would be tedious. Some things should be immediately obvious: no real ballads, awful album art (that matchbook girl raped by an alien?), shit, even how many fucking records it sold. Hell, I'm no elitist, but how can an album that went umptuple platinum in, all things considered, the worst musical decade of all time be the best album ever?
And yet, none of this chitter chatter, chitter chatter means a goddamned thing once the band starts to play. Because, like Mick Jagger said, "does it matter? I'm a-shattered." And since Guns 'N' Roses are the most obvious and perfect descendents of the Stones, Mick's words seem especially appropriate.
That's something I took a lot of crap for once, but people are coming around: G'n'R is the reincarnation of the Rolling Stones. There I said it. Until they blew themselves up in a shitstorm of infeuding and self-indulgence, G'n'R achieved rock and roll perfection, something even Mick and Keith and co. never could manage. How do they match the Stones? Let me count the ways
1. Axl's superior voice. Although his Sweet Child snake moves can't quite match Jagger's "Start Me Up" antics, Axl was every bit the front man Mick was. Listen to "It's So Easy," when Axl tells his critics "You can go........................FUCK OFF" and you can't help but think of Jagger spitting "Satisfaction" out through pursed sofa lips.
2. Slash+Izzy=Keith+(Ron or Brian or Mick Taylor). With all due respect to Keith and co. I'll take Slash over all of them. But it's a tricky question. What's a little more cut and dry is how expertly Slash and Izzy work their guitar parts together, trading licks on songs like Nightrain or Think About You
3. Riff based rock. I believe it was John Cale of the VU who commented on the Stones: "there were some of their songs that all they were was one riff over and over." Songs like "The Last Time" and "Satisfaction" are prime examples. But what are G'n'f'n'R songs if not riff-heavy? "Mr. Brownstone" has that impossible chromatic boogie. "Sweet Child," as much as Slash hates it, is instantly recognizable by its "Venus deMilo"-esque arpeggios. Sheryl Crow's chord heavy version hardly even sounds like the same song.
But whatever. I guess it doesn't even matter how close they came to besting the Stones. I mean, world's greatest rock band or not, G'n'R's approximation to another band is not the issue. The point is, what IS here is magnificent for all the same reasons the Rolling Stones are magnificent. And Jagger and Keif never writed a record like Appetite.
By now the singles have become public domain. How can you go to a hockey game at any level without hearing that delay-pedaled B-note welcoming you to the jungle? Paradise City was that coming of age song for the nerd in "Can't Hardly Wait" and if you've never sang it at karaoke you ain't no friend of mine. And the Sweet Child video is basically the lasting image we have of the '80's: Izzy and Slash with cigarettes hanging off their lips, guitars pointed heavenward, that greasy tophat hair...and Axl snaking around, making love to his mic stand.
The thing is, there's nothing to say about these singles that hasn't been said before. Yeah, "Welcome to the Jungle" with all its double stops, that breakdown, that almighty "Feel my...my my my my my serpentine" line invites all kinds of music nerd commentary (the decade of greed typified, the ultimate LA song, the ultimate heavy metal song, Axl speaking for a generation, Axl tortured by blah blah blah blah blah). What really makes this album is its deep cuts.
Let's be realistic: there are two ways to evaluate an album. It's either "does it have a lot of good songs," or, "does it function as a cohesive, thematic unit." It's a tricky issue with no definitive answer. The best albums, however, make this quibbling academic: they not only contain all the best songs but they work as an entity. That's why "24 Hour..." held my top spot for so long. That's why my other top five records (Through Being Cool, After the Goldrush, and OK Computer) are so goddamn fucking good.
It's not necessarily so clear that Appetite For Destruction fits these descriptions. But it should be. Many people don't realize how solid top to bottom this album is. It's hard to explain the dynamic of an album that traverses every nuance of hard rock without so much as sniffing a power ballad. It seems pointless to go through track by track, but many songs bear mentioning.
"Nightrain" for instance, with its clang-clang intro and Chuck Berry guitar work stampedes the slowdown from "It's So Easy." It's hard to pin Axl down on this album - he's as confused about himself as we are about when the new G'nR album's coming out. But "Nightrain" doesn't make apologies or look for answers - it just catches him "Loaded like a freight train..." Axl keeps making these impossible claims of ostentation - rattlesnake suitcase, drinking his gasoline. This song's all fucking strut, nothing more nothing less. I read a piece on this song from AMG where they admit that when Axl says, "I smoke my cigarette with style," they believe him. Well duh. What's more definitive for me is when he gnarls at his sweetheart:
"Wake up late, yeah honey put on your clothes
and take my credit card to the liquor store
well that's one for you...and two for me"
There's Axl, double hard and reckless, and the band's matching him shot for shot. Not enough's been said about Steven Adler's drumming, and I don't suppose I can really do it much justice on the page, but man he stomps through some wicked cowbell. Fuck Christopher Walken, fuck Will Ferrell, fuck that whole sketch because man cowbell is the real deal Holyfield. Or at least Steve makes it feel that way.
The thing to remember about Appetite is that its cohesion comes in an unexpected way. This is an album about making this album, honestly. I mean that in as far from its postmodern implications as possible. But this is an album about being a rock band in LA living the life that will eventually make its way onto this album. "It's so easy," Axl claims, "when everybody's tryin' to please me." Yeah, yeah - it's true. It is pretty easy. But Axl's not so sure...because inevitably what this album's about is the contradictions of the fast life. He can half feel it catching up to him. He can feel the pratfalls. "Out to Get Me," while one of the worst tracks on the album, still fits perfectly - paranoia - fame is a double-edged sword.
And with all the groupies we see...with all the child prostitutes (My Michelle), pretty girls (Paradise City, Sweet Child), sexy parties (Nightrain, Anything Goes) there's still the regrets of lost love, none more apparent than on the album's best track, "Rocket Queen." Here, more than anywhere we see the effects of fame on Axl's ultimate happiness
"If I say I don't need anyone I can say these things to you
Because I can turn on anyone just like I turned on you."
Who is this woman Axl's talking to? Is it a lover from the past, a groupie with some staying power, a supermodel, who? Does it matter. He's grappling with the immediate gratification fame accords him. IF he says he doesn't need anyone...but it isn't so easy to say for Axl. Yes, he could have any woman he wants, but maybe not the one he wants...and as the song goes on, it appears that the reason he can't have her is BECAUSE he can have any woman he wants. Let's see:
As the song shifts from its full-frontal bravado to an instrumental slide-guitar interlude the mood changes and finally, when the song settles into its coda, a 50's style doo-wop number, we glide into the root of the trouble. Instead of boasting of his prowess...Axl elegizes his relationship
"No one sees the sorrow
No one sees the pain
I hate to see you
walking out there...out in the rain
so don't chastise you
don't think i, i mean you harm...."
This is not easy. No not at all...and finally, finally, the last four lines of the album. This is what Appetite is all about. This is why this is the best album of all time. This is why Axl Rose's bald ass can go on prolonging his album forever and never never never should be called on it. This is why Slash can be forgiven for getting fat and lazy. This is why Guns 'N' Roses will always be the greatest metal band of all time. This is why music is made:
"Don't ever leave me
Say you'll always be there.
All I ever wanted
was for you to know that I care."
Ladies and gentlemen, this is what rock and roll is all about.
having a little patience,
Chris Wong
posted by Chris W # 10:04 PM 
Archives
January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006
